Writing scared!

Tomorrow is the last day of the National Writing month and the scary part; I have 10,000 words left to go!  AND I’m afraid of my story.  How funny is that!

Last night I was typing away and this plot line that I had previously introduced had come back to tie some loose ends.  I have to say its a perfect story arc but I really don’t want to write it.   When I introduced the idea earlier in the story,  I wrote it and jumped right out of it as fast as I could because I was getting scared of the images coming in my mind.  It’s especially frightening because I like to write at night.  I could hear every little tiny sound in the house which did not help matters much.  I reached 40k and said, “that’s enough for now.”  Now I wonder, how the heck does Stephen King do this all the time?  I also read once that Steven Spielberg has coulrophobia, an extreme or irrational fear of clowns, which is probably why the scene in Poltergeist was particularly scary.  My husband asked, “why are you writing this then?” because it answers a few questions left hanging but also it will make the story more interesting.  That doesn’t mean it doesn’t scare me.

my wicked ways

*sodahead.com (photo credit)

I’m in the middle of that crazy month of writing madness.  I’m doing o.k.  I’ve been behind the target number for the last few days.  Though not all is lost. I’ve seen myself pull off some amazing feats in this contest.  For example, in a one 2-hour session, I was able to produce around 6,000 words.  This is the kind of magic that can be expected during this month.  Also what is pure magic is the novel itself.  I had a few ideas a few days before, as I mentioned in my last post. But what is happening is completely new and interesting.  This is my favorite thing about partaking in National Novel Writing Month; no matter what you think you planned for, your novel has a mind of its own.  You are merely its catalyst for coming out into the world. Wah ha ha ha!!

But with all this creative flow and energy some wicked habits have re-emerged.  I am back on coffee & sweetener.  I have about two morning cups a day.  Its only been going on for a week.  I’m so busy trying to get the “genius” out on paper during evening jam sessions that I’m exhausted.  Also pressing me is my newly emerging Toddler of close to 15 months.  Wow, she is a whole new child full of complaints and needs that are unforeseeable to me.  We will be laughing and having fun then BAM!  She is crying and throwing a fit.  Needless to say, any spare moment I have goes to reading the finer points of how to raise a child during this phase of her development.  And by the way, almost all of what I read is that you are utterly powerless.  All the tricks you learned the year before about soothing a baby absolutely do not apply to a toddler.  It’s a whole new ball game.

What has been happening as of late with her is a midnight or early morning [i.e., 2:00 a.m.] wake up cry.  This will last for hours and hours with no end in sight.  WE are not used to this at all.  We have a child who has been sleeping through the night with few interruptions since she was 2 months old.  If my husband answers the cry, he is, most times, in and out within 30 minutes.  He can lay her in the crib and walk away.  I, however, have had no such luck.  She is okay going into the bed but then she rolls over before I can make my get away and then the crying ensues.  I can only relieve her by holding her and rocking her to sleep.

Its been a tough time especially with everything that is going on here.  We’ve been in the very long process of selling our house.  It’s a tough market and definitely not a seller’s market.  This is worldwide.  So I’m sure there are many people who can relate.  The issues we’ve been hearing consistently are about our kitchen and few other things that would take a wrecking ball company to fix.  It’s not that we live in an awful place.  Quite on the contrary.  We live in a quaint two-story “townhouse” that is over a hundred years old in a very desirable neighborhood complete with a grocery store across the street [this particular convenience is handy when you run out of milk!].  Right now, buyers are as choosy as they wish.  We also enjoy this liberty when we walk through homes in the neighborhoods we would like to live.

We’ve recently had a very interested party, the next to bidding kind, walk away from buying our house.  The problems were the exact issues we have been hearing for several months from other semi-interested viewers.  We’ve talked about it for a while and we decided its time we make some of the updates.  Very soon we will be tearing this place apart with a Toddler during the holidays.  Wish us luck!

Three days until…novel writing MADNESS!

National Novel Writing Month 2013

It’s fastly approaching us that wonderful month of expanding our creative minds into a 50,000 word novel! Those of us who choose to participate in this adventurous challenge of wit and will, that is. Last year, it just wasn’t happening with a two month old baby.  But this year, my creative juices are bursting with several story ideas and I just can’t wait to get started. I’ve been reading pep talks from past Nanowrimo years.  I am seriously getting pumped.

What really got me excited was my writing group this past weekend. We had a Q&A session for those participating for the first time ever. Oh I love these discussions because I get to go back to when I started in 2009.  It was pretty frightening because I was living here in the Netherlands not knowing a single person outside of my husband.  It took a lot for me to go to the Kick Off party but I was so glad I did.  Many people were encouraging and spoke English (thank God). Everyone who takes this journey understands completely what you go through to get this out on paper (electronically).  You belong to a new community for these 30 days that is very empowering and International (maybe they should update the name to International novel-writing month).  You also get to hear from great authors who root and cheer for you along the way.  It’s a magical time. If you want to join there is still time (you can join mid-month also but I wouldn’t recommend it).  Take a gander at the website, www.nanowrimo.org and read what it’s all about then JOIN!

PSL..oh no you didn’t!

Fall must be here early... first Pumpkin Spice...

 Pumpkin Spice Latte @Starbucks  (Photo credit: redhotwritinghood)

Oh yes I did.  I splurged for this little comfort in a cup, Latte-o-magic, for a dessert last night when I was at the Starbucks.  The famous Pumpkin Spice Latte(PSL), that is.  I was so excited and so pumped to be having a little piece of home.  Mmmm…and then we sat down to enjoy our lattes and teas.  I take that first most precious sip….and its a NO!  All I tasted was that syrupy stuff that is the very essence of the Pumpkin Spice.  I tried hard to drink more because I knew; 1, it was breaking my conscious diet and disappointment was not what I had expected and 2, it was 4,15 euros!  I had to make this work.  In the end, I pretty much dumped out a full cup.  What I did ingest kept me up until 1:30 in the morning.  So now I’ve discovered that I have completely changed my palette by subtracting sugar and coffee.  Somewhat heartbreaking but also helpful for keeping me on track.

 

 

 

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